In our recent book, HeadStart: The Secrets to Career Success, Sunder Ramachandran and I explored the challenges young professionals face as they navigate the workplace. One of the recurring themes that surfaced during our conversations with them was the difficulty of understanding what their bosses really wanted and what made them tick. This lack of clarity often left them frustrated and unsure of how to work effectively with their leaders.

This challenge got me thinking: Why is it so hard for teams and leaders to understand each other? Why do we leave so much room for misinterpretation and guesswork? If ambiguity is the enemy of performance, what can we do to eliminate it?

That’s when I came across a tool that offers an elegant solution to this problem. It’s surprisingly effective and incredibly simple. In this post, I want to share how creating a Personal User Manual can bridge these gaps and transform how teams work together.

“Why does she do that?” “What does he want from us?” “I just don’t understand!”

It’s even more challenging when the new person is a leader. An entire team must adjust to an unfamiliar leadership style. Figuring out someone’s unspoken preferences and rules can take months, often resulting in misunderstandings and unnecessary setbacks. Ambiguity stalls performance: if people don’t know what’s expected, they simply can’t deliver.

So, why not make things easier? Instead of leaving people guessing, create a Personal User Manual. This “how to work with me” guide lays out exactly how you like to operate, communicate, and collaborate.

One of the most famous examples of a “how to work with me” guide comes from Claire Hughes Johnson, the former COO of Stripe. When Johnson joined the company, she shared a concise document outlining her work style and expectations.

She highlighted her hands-off approach:

“I’m not a micromanager and I won’t sweat your details unless I think things are off track, and if I do, I’ll tell you my concern.”

Her manual also made her expectations clear:

“I expect people to be prepared and participate” (in weekly team meetings).

And she explained her email preferences:

“I will read every email I get in a day, but I will only respond if you ask me something directly or if I have a question.”

This document proved invaluable for her team. As Johnson later shared:

“It spread quite quickly through the organisation. People started asking, ‘Why don’t we have more of these?’ Even team members who aren’t managers began writing their own guides, which was incredibly insightful.”

Why you should create a Personal User Manual

If you’re a manager or leader, particularly in a new role, a Personal User Manual can be a game-changer. Here’s why:

• Know yourself better: Reflecting on your leadership style builds self-awareness. It’s a chance to ask important questions: Do I communicate clearly? Do I support my team? Am I open to feedback? Writing this down also helps you stay consistent.
• Create clarity quickly: A user manual acts as a cheat sheet for your team. By clarifying what you value, how you interact, and why you do things a certain way, you set everyone up for success.
• Speed up decisions: Explain what information you need for decision-making and which decisions you’d like your team to handle independently. This eliminates guesswork and accelerates progress.
• Bridge remote gaps: Virtual teams often face miscommunication, especially across time zones or cultures. A user manual helps reduce friction by explaining your work style and intentions.
• Build psychological safety: Writing an honest guide means acknowledging your imperfections, quirks, and blind spots. This vulnerability fosters trust and encourages your team to be open with you.

Six keys to an effective Personal User Manual

1. Specific: Avoid vague statements; include real-world examples.
2. Direct: Use simple, everyday language and stay to the point.
3. Informal: Be conversational and approachable.
4. Honest: Share insights about yourself as both a leader and a person.
5. Up-to-Date: Revisit and tweak your guide regularly.
6. Short: Keep it concise and readable.

Writing your own manual

Here’s a framework to help you get started. (You can also refer to Johnson’s guide for inspiration). Adapt these sections to fit your style:

Who am I?

• Goal of this document
• My professional purpose and core values
• What makes me tick

The way I operate

• Meetings and check-ins (frequency, format, expectations)
• Information (how I process ideas, what I need from my team)
• Decision-making (data vs. intuition, “you” vs. “me” vs. “us” decisions)

The way I interact

• Communication (email, Zoom, text, calls; ideal timings)
• Debates (approach to conflict, advice for pushing back)
• High Stakes (how to raise concerns, protocols for emergencies)

The way I manage

• Involvement (what to loop me in on vs. handle independently)
• Feedback (frequency, modes, preferences)
• Accountability (deadlines, tracking results, ownership)

Things that delight me

• I love it when…
• Please come to me with…

Things that annoy me

• I dislike it when…
• Please don’t surprise me with…

My growth areas

• My quirks (behaviours that might confuse or annoy others)
• Areas I’m working on (weaknesses, blind spots)

Me beyond work

• Passions (interests, opportunities for connection)
• Journey (key life events that shaped me)

Take your time with this exercise. Step away and return with fresh eyes to refine your guide. Trim it to the essentials so it’s clear and concise. Once complete, share it with your team.

Parting thoughts

People often learn how to work well with a leader the hard way – and sometimes they never figure it out. By creating a Personal User Manual, you offer a shortcut to understanding, trust, and collaboration.

This exercise is more than just a tool for your team; it’s a journey of self-reflection. It helps you identify and articulate your work style, uncover areas for growth, and lead with greater clarity and consistency. Why leave people guessing when you can guide them with purpose and precision?